Proverbs 31:13 - 15

13. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14. She is like the merchant ships bringing food from afar. 15. She gets up while it is still dark; she prepares food for her family, and portions for her servant girls.

I feel better reading the phrase "servant girls." Don't you think this whole thing would be easier with a servant or two?
She selects wool and flax - other translations substitute selects for "looks for, shops around." The Proverbs 31 woman seeks out the best value for her money. This ties into doing good for her husband and running her household smoothly. I know that I am probably preaching to the choir given today's economy, but we should all pay attention to what we pay for items and keep an eye out on special deals. If you are unsure on how to go about this, Frugal Upstate and Want What You Have have a lot of resources to help you stretch your dollar.
(she) works with eager hands - this is the part that might not be so easy. I know I am supposed to work, but eagerly? Some translations interpret it to say that she works with delight, enjoyment, gladness, willingness. I admit that I have a hard time working in such a mood sometimes. One way to help keep a cheerful attitude while working is music. Put on some good uplifting music, preferably with a quick tempo. If music isn't an option, sing yourself, or pray. I dislike cleaning the bathroom, but I am sure glad I have a bathroom to clean! The toilet may be disgusting, but compared to an outhouse, it's a dream come true. Soap scum may be an inch thick on the bathtub, but imagine heating water up on a wood stove and filling the washtub pot by pot for the whole family to use. Back in the day, families went youngest to oldest when taking baths, which would put the mama after the kids. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to take a bath after several children had already used the water!
She is like the merchant ships bringing food from afar - The commentaries I've read simply state that she is willing to go to trouble to get what her family needs. One version stated that she brings back exotic surprises. Back then, many of the things we find easily at the grocery were hard to come by. Ships had to travel to bring them from other countries. The Proverbs 31 woman is willing to seek out things that she knows her family will enjoy, even if it is not the easiest thing for her to do. She enjoys surprising her family with treats. While you may not be able to buy exotic things, we all know what our family likes and doesn't like. If it is within reason, give your family a little extra something now and then as a way of caring for them and putting their best above your own.
She gets up while it is still dark; she prepares food for her family, and portions for her servant girls - she doesn't lounge about in bed all morning, depending on others to do work. She sets a good example for her family and her servants and rises in order to serve them. In some versions, the portions for her servant girls translates into setting out their work for the day or arranging the day's work. This woman is well-organized. She plans her work and works the plan. I don't know about you, but I tend to get more done if I write it all down and check it off as I complete the task. As for the getting up while still dark, I'll have to work on that one! I tend to sleep until BB wakes up. He doesn't like to eat first thing, so I typically let him play while I drink coffee and catch up on blogs. That's really not setting a good example. Too often, I spend too much time catching up on blogs (especially if there's a blog carnival) and I find the rest of my day's schedule thrown off.
So to recap, I should shop for the best deals for my money, have a positive attitude about my work, look for extras to treat my family with, get up ready to work, and organize my day. I can do that!

Proverbs 31:11-12

11The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.
12She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.

The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely - Her husband can trust her completely. There isn't a part of her husband that doubts her, no inner voice filling him with doubts. He leaves the running of his household in her capable hands. In this verse, the woman is in charge of the household. This is not to say that she is the head of house, but rather that she controls what happens within the house, in a manner that allows her husband peace of mind. He doesn't have to concern himself with her going on a shopping spree. She will not bankrupt their financial future to live in the present.

By reading the rest of this text and seeing all of the virtuous woman's attributes, we can see how having a woman like this would be a good thing indeed. A wife that is the opposite of this woman would serve to wear her husband down with worry and would undermine his ability to complete his work.

He has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil - He does not need to engage in shady business dealings to make an extra buck to cover expenses. She runs the household in a way that enables them to live within their means. Living within one's means is hard. Ironically, life's expenses seem to go up whenever there is a raise. I'll be honest – I stink at budgeting. I do good at living within what DH makes as long as there are no expenses I have to plan ahead for. I am not good at setting money aside for a future expenses.

Looking at this text, the phrase “no lack of gain” implies that there is an increase in their wealth, not just maintaining a set level. I do a lot of things to be frugal, but that mostly entails just living within our means, not below our means. If we lived more below our means, we could set money aside for future expenses. The Bible admonishes us to be good stewards of what we are given (Matthew 25). Certainly setting money aside for future expenses falls into this category.

She does him good and not evil all the days of her life - She is never spiteful, she treats him generously all of her life. Not all of his life, all of her life. How does she do this? If he should happen to die before she does, she is respectful to his memory. She takes care of and preserves their legacy – their children. She continues to be a faithful steward of what they have accumulated (again with the budgeting). While he is living, she seeks out how to help him everyday, not just when she's in a good mood. She seeks his best even on days when she has PMS and he has ticked her off. She is not spiteful. She doesn't plot revenge or engage in passive-aggressive behavior.

Feminists probably get upset at the idea of constantly seeking the husband's good. I think this verse is just common sense, although it is hard to do. Let's face it - when we seek our husband's good, we are much more likely to have a happy hubby. Husbands who are in a good mood make for a more pleasant home and have better relationships with their wives and children. This in turn helps the wife to be in a better mood, making her more likely to find ways to help her family, and the cycle repeats. Men have their share of verses elsewhere in the Bible on how they are to treat their wives and children, lest you think that the men are off the hook here!

My summary of Proverbs 31:11 – A virtuous woman manages her house without causing worry.

My summary of Proverbs 31:12 – A virtuous woman does good until the very end.

Proverbs 31:10

I am going to split Proverbs 31 into segments to shorten the length of my posts. I may go back and re-visit an earlier passage from time to time. I am starting my study on verse 10 as the first 9 verses deal more with how to rule. All commentaries and other supplements that I am using for this study can be found at BibleGateway or BlueLetterBible.

When I began this, I came across this fact in one of the commentaries: this chapter isn't specifically directed towards women. Don't believe me? Read verse 1 of this chapter: "The words of King Lemuel that his mother taught him." We women can most certainly benefit from studying this chapter, and we should study this, but the original intended audience was a young man in search of a wife.
Most scholars agree that King Lemuel was Solomon, which would make his mother none other than Bathsheba. Her life had certainly taught her the importance of being a woman of virtue. All that follows in this chapter is advice that she gave her son on how to pick a woman. I believe that this is the intent of Proverbs 31. We shouldn't feel like we are failing if we can't master everything on this list. These attributes should serve as goals to work towards, not as things we must do. Not everything in this chapter is going to be attainable by every woman. However, the near-impossible nature of this chapter shouldn't cause us to ignore this list, or dismiss it as unreasonable. If this chapter is important enough to be included in the Bible, you can guarantee that we, as women, can benefit from studying this.

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her price is far above rubies.

The phrase more than rubies implies that a woman of virtue is rare. She is not just any girl in town, but a special prize. Other translations use diamonds or jewels to describe the worth of this woman. While this analogy may seem strange to us, remember that in Bible times, men had to pay a dowry for their bride. The more valuable the girl, the higher the price. For a girl to have jewels for her price, she would have been royalty. For her to be worth even more than jewels is to say that a woman of virtue is the highest treasure that a man can hope to have.

A ruby is elsewhere used in the Bible to describe how illusive wisdom can be (Proverbs 8:11). One commentary remarks that the value of this woman is placed on her character, not on her works. While her good works are to be admired, her character is what makes her noteworthy. Her character is what is deemed the most desirable. When we look to this woman as an example, we need to look first to her character. Without her character, it is impossible to achieve her works. Much like Mary and Martha, we need to choose that which is best over that which is merely good.

I don't know about other people, but I know for myself that this is difficult. I am very project-driven. I would much rather follow a checklist of things to do than to regulate my attitude. For a big-picture example, consider how easy it is to get caught up into legalism regarding dress and behavior, and how difficult it is to love our neighbor, turn the other cheek, and forgive 70 times 70. We would much rather do things that require physical action than to do things that require heart action.
It is interesting to note that the word used for virtuous (chayil) is used two other times in the Bible to reference women. Once to describe Ruth (Ruth 3:11), and also in Proverbs 12:4, when a virtuous woman is described as a crown to her husband. The rest of that verse goes on to say that the opposite of a virtuous woman, a shameful woman, serves as a rottenness to her husband's bones, a cancer.

When the word for virtue (chayil) is used in the Bible, it is dealing with strength, valor, and might. This doesn't apply only to physical strength, but also to strength of character. To be able to have all of the qualities of this woman, your moral character must be strong. You must be valiant to stand against any attempts to undermine your family. You must be able to resist temptation to take the easy way out of things.

My summary of Proverbs 31:10 - Moral virtue is more valuable than many works.

Please leave feedback as I go through this. If you think I overlooked an angle, got something wrong, or you just want to leave your opinion, please do so!