With several of our friends about to add onto their families, hubby and I often discuss the topic of how many kids to have. Keeping in mind that I'm an only child, here's the argument:
1. If we have only 1 kid, we'll have more money to spend on the kid on things like vacation, extracurriculars, etc.
If we have only 1 kid, the kid could very well wind up spoiled, like yours truly.
2. If we have only 1 kid, we'll have more time to spend with our kid.
If we have only 1 kid, he will be the sole focus of our attention, and that's not always a good thing.
3. If we have only 1 kid, we'll be able to provide more things for him.
If we have only 1 kid, he won't learn how to share and be grateful for what he has.
4. If we have only 1 kid, we'll be able to give him more attention.
If we have only 1 kid, all of our hopes and dreams will be pinned on him. With more kids, it's not such a big deal if one doesn't turn out so well (you know I'm 1/2 kidding!).
5. If we have only 1 kid, we won't have to listen to or deal with sibling rivalry.
If we have only 1 kid, he won't learn how to handle conflict.
6. If we have only 1 kid, he will more likely mature faster because of all the one-on-one adult interaction.
If we have only 1 kid, he could be immature, because we will be more likely to do everything for him.
7. If we have only 1 kid, he is likely to be better educated. We will be more likely to afford good private schools, good colleges.
If we have only 1 kid, he is more likely to be a slacker, so education won't matter.
8. If we have only 1 kid, our parenting will be done with in 18 years. We'll only be 43, and we'll have a lot of time to do things.
If we have only 1 kid, we'll learn from him what to do and not to do, but have no one to put our knowledge into practice with.
9. If we have only 1 kid, we will only have to go through every “phase” one time.
No argument there!
So what do all of you from big families think?
The more kids I have, the more I want! I just love mine. I am continually amazed at the creativity God has to make children from the same parents so incredibly different and special. As a child from a 2 kid family I always wanted more siblings. Experiences, extra-curricular activities, and stuff is nice - but a close, loving family is nicer than anything money can buy!
ReplyDeleteAlso, although kids are different, they do get easier to deal with. Maybe as parents we become more relaxed and don't sweat the small stuff, I'm not sure. There are still moments I want to pull my hair out, but the initial stress of being a "first-time parent" is by far the very toughest time.
Unfortunately, finances do have to be considered to some extent. Right now, 3 kids is all we have room for and can possibly afford to feed and clothe! However, should God ever decide to bless us even more financially, I would love to have 4 or more kids!
I've gotta agree with the responses in italics. Modern parents who feel obligated rather than intrinsically motivated to produce offspring tend to look on kids as a necessary evil, and the less evil the better; I see multiple children as a necessary good. And Renee's right: with subsequent children, the hard stuff starts to peel away, and the happy stuff just piles up.
ReplyDeleteAs one of the few single, childless people in the group, I am obviously well qualified to speak on this topic...
ReplyDeleteI'm just as qualified, but I'll venture, "More kids! More kids!"
ReplyDeleteTake it from the Russians--if times get tough, your baby can sleep in a pot!
Russians keep their babies in pots? But where does the pot roast sleep??
ReplyDelete