You never leave the house without a back-up outfit, an extra bottle, and sanitizer.
You can't remember when both legs (and underarms) were all shaved at the same time.
You know where every elevator is at the mall, and which stores have changing stations.
Your child throws up, and you catch it.
Someone else's kid throws up at a party, and you keep eating.
You wish that you could have registered for sleep along with the cute sleeper sets and pacifiers.
You have ever made funny faces - with accompanying voices - while standing in line at a public place.
You get someone to watch your kid so you can "relax" while you grocery shop.
You bought a car based on how well the stroller, play pen, and accessories fit inside the trunk.
You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
You can't bear to give away baby clothes -- it's so final.
You get excited when your child takes a long nap because you get to eat your next meal sitting down.
When you go to someone's house, you check for baby-proofing and possible dangers, even if your child isn't with you.
All of your stories consists of a body fluid doing something unusual and/or unexpected.
You have a job with no sick leave, personal days, retirement plan, or dental - but the benefits can't be beat.