September 14, 2010

I've talked before how DH and I have struggled to find a church. Between the two of us, we have had no problem finding problems with the churches we have visited - too big, no growth, too much like our old church, etc. If it was just DH and I, finding a new church probably wouldn't be such a big deal. However, since we have BB, we know that whatever church we join will most likely be the church that BB attends throughout childhood.
I personally think that it is important to not only attend church, but to also join a church. I think that becoming a member of a church adds a sense of ownership, if you will. With the goal of joining a church in mind, each church we've visited has gone through intense scrutiny. From these past few years, I have learned one important thing - everyone is wrong. There is no perfect denomination or church. Finding a church to join seems to mean finding one that has the flaws you can live with. Part of the problem is undoubtedly with me. I tend to over think things and nit-pick. I wish I could just subscribe to a system of beliefs without hesitation.
I think a Catholic might cite this as one of the problems with Protestants - there's too much of a cafeteria-style of belief. Growing up in the Bible belt, I have become accustomed to people leaving whenever a church becomes disagreeable. In my own town, there are over 100 churches with most denominations having several choices. I have made the comment several times to DH that I sometimes wish I lived in a small town that only had 1 church per denomination.
I know I'm not the only person to have ever faced this problem. Does anyone out there agree 100% with their church's teachings? If so, did you grow up in the church? For those of you who don't agree 100%, how did you decide to join? If you have children, how do you address the differences between what your church teaches and what you believe?


  1. We moved to a small town after living in a large city for 4 years. The church we left was amazing, great young adult group, great childrens program... When we moved here (south GA) there were 3 churches that we looked into. One was like family, it was warm, inviting, but very, very small. The second had everything we wanted, adult classes, kid programs, good outreach, but it just didn't feel 'right'. The last church we visited was not perfect in ANY area. But it was a good church, one where we felt we could grow as a family, as Christians, and most importantly, we really enjoyed listening to the pastors sermons. He is easy to listen to and he makes the lessons easy to relate to...

    It was a hard decision, one I let my husband make (very unusual for me). We did talk about it, though. We can always teach and share the Bible and Christ with our child from home, our views, our family values, our beliefs. We wanted to make sure we were getting the spiritual support and encouragement we needed as parents, as husband and wife, as adults so that we could teach our child and others.
    This is just my thoughts, sorry they are long... Good luck with finding a church home... hard to do, but always nice when one is found!!

  2. True is VERY tough to find that perfect fit. And when you won't ever be PERFECT. I've often told my DH (since he's been to seminary, it's even HARDER to please him), that we need to find somewhere that will feed myself and the boys. He knows how to grow Spritually (I need the accountability and teaching), but the rest of the family needs to get it from someone else.

    We're still struggling trying to find where to settle and call home. The growth of some of the churches around here really disappoints me...they seem so stagnant.

    Good luck.


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