August 20, 2009

Random thoughts from people 25-35 years old...

I wish I could take credit for this, but it's been on several blogs. I've edited it a bit, and added my take on some of them:

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me. Which is why I interrupt so often when I'm with people!

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. I've yet to have this happen to me, but it's bound to occur sooner or later...

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk. I'm not going to embarrass myself and tell you how often this happens to me...

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. Can I get an Amen!" on this from all the moms out there?

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with? Which is why, once I realized my mistake in "friending" people, I unfriended a 1/3 of them...

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font. Oh, yes! Please, someone invent this! I would pay to install said font on my computer (did you catch that?)

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it. Remains of the Day and A River Runs Through It both come to mind on this one...

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it. I know exactly what this person is talking about! I just wish I knew what movie is like that for me.

-How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? According to my mother, there is a specific method but I'm too impatient to do it...

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. Exactly.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. Remember this, Z!

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say". This is totally my sister-in-law, LOL :)

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying. I would say the same goes if you realize that your answers are forming a predictable pattern...

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart". I know some people will disagree with this, but I think it's true.

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said? I say 3, because that's what I usually do. I hate low talkers.

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent someone from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers! I'm bad about doing this, and then remembering the Jesus fish on my car's back...

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. You should see how Google thinks I should leave town from where I live. Which, by the way, is close to the interstate. But according to Google...

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. I actually read obituaries and try to figure out how they died based on where the flowers/donations should go, etc. I also think the obits should tell you where the person lived so you know what houses will be going up for sale shortly ;)

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. Who wants cold water first thing in the morning? That's why God made coffee!

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories.

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year? Um, yes they do. Teenagers in general also get stupider, lazier...

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.... It's nice to know this happens to other people too. I thought I was alone in this...

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day. I used to know some people who decided this before they sat down for the day...

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever. Same for dry cleaning. If I ever give you a hand-me-down that says "Dry Clean Only," get it dry cleaned before you wear it.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away? I think DH does this...

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes. Can someone please explain why this is?

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. Why can't cyclists use the sidewalk? Why is that illegal?

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’ll bet everyone can find and push the Snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "What would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?

-It really makes me mad when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get mad that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit. Actually, I know it does. I've lost count of how many times a cop has passed me.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay. I've never actually met anyone who got jewelry just because...

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel fat before dinner.


  1. Heather,
    This is a fun list. I did LOL about several of them. I guess I find myself smack dab in the middle of the ages listed that these apply to. Thanks for sharing.

  2. I generally do a quick-scan through incredibly long posts, but this one was great! And yes, my friend Ben attended Full Sail as a student but now is fulfilling his dream working for a game company. :)

  3. I never use LOL. It drives me completely insane.

    I loved this list!

  4. What a great compilation! There were too many there that wanted to add my 2 cents worth, but I'll resist boring you with info that ruins an already complete list.

  5. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face with this list - it's funny and perhaps slightly shameful that many of these observations are true of me :)


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