Note: this is a long post. Reading this post while sleepy or operating heavy machinery is not advised. Portions of this posting contain song lyrics. To avoid reading the song lyrics, skip over the words that are blue. As with this and any other advice, consult your doctor before deciding what works best for you.
On Sunday, DH and I will celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary. I sometimes think that we have been married longer than this, because I find it hard to remember a time when we were not together. We met in September 2000, and we married in June 2002. The first five years of our relationship were rocky, mainly because of me. I broke up with DH at least 3 times before we got married. I have a hard time trusting people and being open. These difficulties can make any relationship struggle, but especially romantic relationships. Years of bad choices had left their mark with me. I doubted DH at first. I wouldn't let myself get too happy about the relationship, or feel too deeply. When I first really listened to the words of this song, I was amazed at how lyrics reflected the beginning of our dating relationship. While intended to be about a person's relationship with God, this song spoke to me in a time of intense doubting if I could ever let myself be happy.
Haunted by a jaded past/Never thought that love could last/Hope was but a castaway at sea/Skepticism took its toll/Closed the windows to my soul/Was fighting just to keep my sanity/When out of the noise I could hear you breathing/You came along knowing just what I needed/Turned me around and ya got me believin/You would die for me/Now I'm fearless with nothing left to hide/All the doubts of yesterday, love has driven them away/And now I'm fearless when I am by your side/Its forever me and you in this covenant of truth/Ya know I'm fearless...oh yeah/Patiently you stripped away/The walls of pride that I had raised/You revealed the child inside of me/We will run and not grow old/Soar on wings as I've been told
Together we will fly the heavenlies/'Cause out of the noise I could hear you breathing/You came along knowing just what I needed/Turned me around and ya got me believin/I would die for you/Some of us leave the vine/Some of us fall in line/All of us have a friend in Jesus
Some of us live in fear/Some of us persevere/Knowing that you are near me, I am fearless
Once I reached the point where I could accept the fact that DH really, truly loved me, I was amazed that it was possible. I felt that his love was destined to be short-lived. I tried to enjoy the relationship while it lasted. I alternated between being thankful that I had someone to love me, and being scared that at any moment, he would stop loving me. I tried to push him away before he pushed me away. God is good; my attempts didn't work, and DH never pushed me away. He had some difficult times, but I don't think that he has ever stopped loving me.
DH proposed to me on our 11 month dating anniversary. He was going to propose on our one-year anniversary, but he couldn't wait that long. Our one-year anniversary was 9/11, so I'm glad that he didn't make plans for that day. The night he proposed, he was driving me home when this song came on the radio. We always reminisce when we hear this song.
I Got You Babe (Sonny and Cher)
They say we're young and we don't know/We won't find out until we grow/Well I don't know if all that's true/'Cause you got me, and baby I got you/Babe/I got you babe/I got you babe/They say our love won't pay the rent/Before it's earned, our money's all been spent/I guess that's so, we don't have a pot/But at least I'm sure of all the things we got/Babe/I got you babe/I got you babe/I got flowers in the spring/I got you to wear my ring/And when I'm sad, you're a clown/And if I get scared, you're always around/Don't let them say your hair's too long/'Cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong/Then put your little hand in mine/There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb/Babe/I got you babe/I got you babe/I got you to hold my hand/I got you to understand/I got you to walk with me/I got you to talk with me/I got you to kiss goodnight/I got you to hold me tight/I got you, I won't let go/I got you to love me so/I got you babe/I got you babe/I got you babe/I got you babe/I got you babe
With all of this new-found love, the years we would have to wait until we could get married seemed impossible. Both of our parents wanted us out of college with good jobs before we got married. We were looking at a 3-year engagement. Both of these songs meant a lot to us during our engagement; the joy of loving someone, and the agony of not seeing each other every day.
The Way You Love Me (Faith Hill)
If I could grant/You one wish/I'd wish you could see the way you kiss/Ooh, I love watching you/Baby/When you're driving me crazy/Ooh, I love the way you/Love the way you love me/
There's nowhere else I'd rather be/Ooh, to feel the way I feel with your arms around me/I only wish that you could see the way you love me/The way you love me/It's not right/It's not fair/What you're missing over there/Someday I'll find a way to show you/Just how lucky I am to know you/Ooh, I love the way you/Love the way you love me/There's nowhere else I'd rather be/Ooh, to feel the way I feel with your arms around me/I only wish that you could see the way you love me/The way you love me/You're the million reasons why/There's love reflecting in my eyes/Ooh, I love the way you/Love the way you love me/There's nowhere else I'd rather be/Ooh, to feel the way I feel with your arms around me/I only wish that you could see the way you love me/The way you love me/The way you love me/Ooh, the way you love me/The way you love me
Wouldn't It Be Nice? (Beach Boys)
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older/Then we wouldn't have to wait so long/And wouldn't it be nice to live together/In the kind of world where we belong/You know its gonna make it that much better/When we can say goodnight and stay together/Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up/In the morning when the day is new/And after having spent the day together/Hold each other close the whole night through/Happy times together we've been spending/I wish that every kiss was never ending/Wouldn't it be nice/Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true/Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do/We could be married/And then we'd be happy/Wouldn't it be nice/You know it seems the more we talk about it/It only makes it worse to live without it/But let's talk about it/Wouldn't it be nice
FYI, my mother is convinced that these songs are about s-e-x, but I never thought so. I wanted them played at our reception, but my mom said no.
Our parents decided that we could get married earlier than originally planned. We married the summer after my junior year of college. DH took a year off from school and worked while I finished college, and then I worked while he finished. We used these two songs during our wedding ceremony to signify our commitment to staying together.
I Will Be Here (Steven Curtis Chapman)
Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up/And the sun does not appear/I will be here/If in the dark we lose sight of love/Hold my hand and have no fear/'Cause I will be here/I will be here.../When you feel like bein' quiet/When you need to speak your mind/I will listen/And I will be here/When the laughter turns to cryin'/Through the winnin' and losin' and tryin'/We'll be together/'Cause I will be here/Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up/And the future is unclear/I'll be here/Just as sure as seasons are made for change/Our lifetimes are made for years/I will be here/I will be here..../You can cry on my shoulder/When the mirror tells us we're older/I will hold you/And I will be here/To watch you grow in beauty/And tell you all the things you are to me/I will be here/I will be true/To the promise I have made/To you and to the/One who gave you to me/I will be here/And just as sure as seasons are made for change/Our lifetimes are made for years/'Cause I.../I will be here..../We'll be together/'Cause I will be here
Grow Old Along with Me (John Lennon)
Grow old along with me/The best is yet to be/When our time has come/We will be as one/
God bless our love/God bless our love/Grow old along with me/Two branches of one tree/Face the setting sun/When the day is done/God bless our love/God bless our love/
Spending our lives together/Man and wife together/World without end/World without end/
Grow old along with me/Whatever fate decrees/We will see it through/For our love is true/
God bless our love/God bless our love