Sorry for the recent dearth of blogging. But I've been in survival mode for a couple of months...
Lord willing, it appears that the worst of the morning sickness is over. At 14 weeks, I am still occasionally ill and nauseated, but it's not constant like it was for weeks. My morning sickness this time around has been nothing like it was when I was pregnant with BB, and for that I am thankful. But I really would have preferred to have not had any at all...
I have really started to think about how my life is going to change with the arrival of Baby Deux. I currently have a child who can go to the potty, brush his teeth, dress himself, read basic words, even be reasoned with (to an extent). I am now going back to having a child that is utterly helpless. I know that once I see the sweet baby and hold it, all of my concerns will seem meaningless. But has anyone else ever felt this way about the arrival of another child? I am not intending to come across as ungrateful; this is very much a wanted child. But as I said to DH last night, is is easier to be excited about the first baby because you don't really know what you're getting into.
Whenever I do have the feelings of "what have I gotten myself into," I feel guilty that I am once again pregnant when I know people who have yet to have their first baby. I wish that infertility wasn't a problem for so many people that I know. Right now, my longest friendship has become virtually nonexistent, and I have to wonder if the pregnancy is one of the reasons. The possibility of that being the case both saddens and angers me. While I understand how difficult it is for her, I wish that she could rise above her feelings and still be my friend.
You're not being ungrateful - one of my biggest fears in becoming pregnant a second time is all the things you say - having to do all the hard stuff all over again.
ReplyDeleteI can absolutely relate!! It's so true - I worried and worried about the logistics of my life... but it really just becomes routine again. It's got hard moments and moments that make your heart melt, but in the end it all works. :-)
ReplyDeleteGlad you are feeling better. I've come to understand that there are seasons in our lives. Maybe God is moving you on to a different season with new adventures and new friendships. I would encourage you to be open to that possibility and see what God has for you.
ReplyDeleteI know about feelings of guilt with the 2nd pregnancy. I remember holding Saige's little hand, walking up the stairs at our apartment in Milledgeville and thinking, "It will never be just the three of us again." Then came Leah and what a joy she was and is to her family!
ReplyDeleteI always have a sort of dread for those first newborn days, but each time it gets easier. I mean, it is still hard to lose sleep and take care of a helpless newborn, but you do know more about what you are doing this time and you know how short the time is so hopefully, it will be smoother and more enjoyable! Glad the morning sickness is easing!!
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