Start the day by eating a birthday donut from Dunkin' Donuts off of the birthday plate (being nice to Mommy and letting her have the coffee that comes with the donut - optional).
While eating the birthday donut, survey the assortments of gifts bought for you in honor of your being alive.
If a particular present captures your attention, refuse the rest of the donut and play with the present instead.
After playing with presents, go to the playground and slide down the slide (try to avoid getting turned around on the slide's curve - headfirst down a slide is not good). Go to a favorite fast-food chain to eat the favorite meal of chicken nuggets and french fries. Try to see how many tiny buckets of ketchup you can use during the meal.